So you reviewed the last post on whether to have your aging parent live with you and you’ve decided to give it a try. Here are some ground rules for making it work:
1. Plan respite care and support before you need it. Don’t set yourself and your parent up for failure by trying to take on too much at once. Make sure to plan breaks for yourself (and your parent) by providing for other caregivers, and seek out caregiver support groups. Be sure to keep up with healthy eating and exercise so you can stay healthy.
2. Set rules and assign tasks. Make sure your parents know your “house rules” about smoking, noise levels and include them in the chore divisions, too. If you have children living at home, make sure to review the rules with them, too.
3. Protect everyone’s privacy. Make sure your parent has a door they can shut and latch. Remember to knock before entering a room. Provide a place for them to speak on the telephone privately.
4. Have regular check-in meetings. Consider having a monthly family meeting to review how things are working and talk about any issues that have come up.
5. Allow time for adjustment. Give every one time to get used to the plan. Don’t make any drastic decisions for the first couple of weeks, but do talk about issues that are coming up in the early date.
6. Know when to institute “Plan B.” Have a back-up plan for if things don’t work out. Maybe have your parent keep their apartment or their house, or have visited some other living arrangements so that if things don’t work out you have a Plan B in place.
The tips in this post were inspired by the book “How To Care For Aging Parents” by Virginia Morris.
Great article with very practical tips for making a more and more common situation less stressful.